Etiquette Tips | Manners & Communication
Follow Etiquette Tips on TwitterSubscribe to Etiquette Tips FacebookSubscribe to Etiquette Tips RSS

  • Home
  • What is Etiquette
  • Top 15 Etiquette Books
  • Gift Giving
  • What is Smart Casual Dress Code
  • Advertise
  • About
You are here : Etiquette Tips | Manners & Communication » Christmas » 8 Golden Rules of Christmas Gift Giving

8 Golden Rules of Christmas Gift Giving

Published On November 14th 2011. Under Christmas  Tags: Christmas gift ideas, family manners  

If you plan to celebrate this Christmas, you might want to start thinking about selecting presents for your family members. Although annual “perfect gift” quest is fun, the whole process can be quite stressful. How do you know what the appropriate price range for Xmas treats is and whether you should give a present to your aunt who you meet once a decade?

Letter to Santa via Nicety-livejournal

In his book “The Intentional Family” William J. Doherty talks about a study which was conducted in the late 1970s. While interviewing families in the United States the researchers discovered there are very clear Christmas rules for gift giving. Despite some variation among families of different ethnic groups, these guidelines appear to be widely followed in American society. Let’s find out what the 8 Golden Rules of Christmas Gift-Giving are:

The Decoration Rule

Any room where Christmas gifts are distributed should be properly decorated.  The presents should lie under the Christmas tree and the room should be filled with various Christmas accessories.

The Wrapping Rule

Christmas presents should be wrapped before they are given. The nice wrapping adds up to the festive aura of the Christmas celebration and brings sense of delightful surprise.

The Gathering Rule

Christmas presents should be distributes at get-togethers where every person gives and receives gifts.

The Dinner Rule

The family gift giving should be followed by a traditional Christmas Dinner.

Christmas table setting via bo-bedre.no

The Gift Selection Rule

All Christmas presents should:

  • Demonstrate that you know the receiver’s preferences
  • At the same time surprise the receiver
  •  The gifts should be scaled in economic value to the emotional value of the relationship. (I.e. you shouldn’t buy your niece a gift of far greater value than the gift to your daughter).

The Scaling Rules

  • Husband-wife gifts are highest in value, followed by parents to children.
  • Parents with more than one child give them gifts of approximately equal value.
  • Children do not give more expensive presents to parents than parents give to children.
  • Treat your parents and parents-in-law equally.
  • Treat your married relatives’ spouses equally with your relatives, e.g., you give your brother-in-law a gift roughly equal to your sister’s.
  • Gifts for siblings who live nearby and are part of one’s network should be equal, but far away siblings may be given lesser gifts.
  • More distant relatives such as cousin and aunts may be on the par with siblings if they are part of one’s network.
  • Gifts to friends should not be valued more than gifts to spouses, parents, or children.
Daily Christmas Treats via nicety-livejournal

Fitness Rule

Money is a suitable present from senior to junior kin; for example, from grandmother to grandson. Grandchild should never give grandparents or parents money, regardless of the relative affluence of the parties.

The Reciprocity Rule

Family members should give at least one Christmas gift every year to their mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, to the current spouse of these persons, and to their own spouses. The participants expect to receive at least one gift in return from each of these persons excepting infants. The rule does not require the gifts to be of equal value. Imbalance between the generations is central to the entire ritual, as parents give more than they received from their young children.

Do you have questions about Christmas Gifts Giving or you think we forgot to mention something important? Come talk to us! Leave your comment below!

Logging In...

Comments are closed.

  • 9 Replies
  • 0 Comments
  • 0 Tweets
  • 0 Facebook
  • 1 Pingback
Last reply was January 13, 2013
  1. How to Choose an Outstanding Christmas Gift for Mom – Etiquette Tips
    View December 15, 2011

    […] “8 Golden Rules of Christmas Gift Giving” we mentioned that outstanding Christmas gifts should demonstrate that you know the receiver’s […]

  2. Joyce Van Dalen
    View August 1, 2012

    As a parent of grown children, some married and some not, I want to be fair about the value of the gifts. There are no grandchildren. Is it fairer to give each person a gift of the same value, or should I give each family unit the same value amount?

  3. Alona
    View August 1, 2012

    Hello Joyce,
    Thank you for your question.
    It is entirely up to you! We believe that there are countless ways to give gifts and stay fair at the same time. As an example, you can give more expensive gift to one person (or a family unit) and the year after that – to another one.
    Although it is recommended to keep the value of gifts equal, in the end it is always about the attention you’ve put into your presents rather than about the money you’ve spent on them.

  4. Jeanne
    View December 11, 2012

    My son recently married a woman with a 17-yr old daughter. Should I give her a Xmas gift equal in value to what I give my grandchildren?

  5. Susie
    View December 17, 2012

    We have one married daughter and two daughters who are engaged. Is it appropriate for us to give gifts to our two daughter’s fiances or not?

  6. Etiquette Tips
    View December 17, 2012

    Hi Susie,

    It’s ultimately up to you to decide, but we think it would be a nice gesture. Something small that simply states that you thought about the persons.

  7. Etiquette Tips
    View December 17, 2012

    Hi Jeanne,
    She is your grand daughter in-law now, if you’d like to get to know her better – a nice xmas gift can be the perfect way showing it!:) No need for this to be a very expensive present though.

  8. mom of one
    View December 22, 2012

    We have one son, but family members have 3 children each, totalling 7 kids including mine. How much should I/we spend on the other six, if the other families only have to buy for my one son? Stressed about this.

  9. Barbara
    View January 12, 2013

    My daughter, my only child, did not give me or her father a Christmas card or present. Should I ask her if it got lost in the mail, mention that I was feeling bad about it, or just let it go and never buy her another thing?

  10. Etiquette Tips
    View January 13, 2013

    Hi Barbara! Really sorry to hear about it:( We say – communication is the key. Most probably you won’t be able to simply let it go anyway, so why not be honest and confess to your daughter that this situation hurt your feelings?

« Dress Code: Office Christmas Party
When Is The Right Time To Send Out Christmas Cards? »

    Get the latest Etiquette Tips updates delivered to you for free via Email!

  • Related Articles
    xmas gift ideas for men including bow tie t-shirt cuff links gloves scarf

    Christmas Gift Ideas for Men

    November 25th 2012  

    Sometimes finding that special Christmas gift for a man can be challenging. Especially if you ...

    Christmas party outfit for celebrating with family for women

    Informal Xmas Party – Outfit Ideas For Women

    November 20th 2012  

    Holiday season is one of our most favorite times of the year mainly because there ...

    Office Christmas Party 2012 -Raoul Silk Georgette V Neck Wallis Gown

    Office Xmas Party – Outfit Ideas for Women

    November 11th 2012  

    Exactly one year ago we published a list of suggestions about the office Christmas party dress ...

    ugly christmas sweater red with santa images

    Christmas Sweaters: To Wear Or Not To Wear?

    December 24th 2011  

    Christmas is not only the time when the family get together to share presents and ...

    festive formal Christmas table setting etiquette tips

    Christmas Table Setting Etiquette

    December 19th 2011  

    Christmas is a magical time of the year, that we all love to share with ...

  • Categories
    • Business Etiquette (12)
    • Dress Code (29)
    • Digital Etiquette (3)
    • Table & Dining Etiquette (3)
    • Wedding Etiquette (8)
    • International Etiquette (2)
    • Good Manners Daily (5)
    • Events and Celebrations (28)
    • Christmas (10)
    • Etiquette Discoveries (5)
    • Travel Etiquette (1)
    • Gift Giving (14)
  • Popular Tags
    birthday bridesmaids business etiquette business formal attire business meeting casual for men christmas Christmas gift ideas christmas outfits clubbing cocktail communication dress code Easter celebration elevator events eye contact family manners father's day first impression gift giving gifts for mother graduation day graduation gifts informal attire Julzzz Mandevilla Plant mothers day night out office life personal style prom prom night small talk smart casual smart casual ladies table manners Thanksgiving Theatre Etiquette travel vacation Valentine’s Day ideas wedding what to wear xmas party dress code
  • Archives
    • February 2013 (1)
    • January 2013 (1)
    • November 2012 (3)
    • October 2012 (1)
    • June 2012 (7)
    • May 2012 (17)
  • Sites We Like




  • Follow this blog
SohoBox WordPress Theme By MagPress.com
Cheap Philadelphia Phillies Tickets | iPage | Trucks
Copyright © 2023. All Rights Reserved.
This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse the site you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Accept Find out more here
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT