Instant Messaging (IM) Etiquette Tips

Instant messengers come in handy in the present fast-paced scenery. Just take a look at your email box and you will realise that the majority of distant conversations don’t happen by emails anymore. Different types of IMs are efficient, less time-consuming and ubiquitous.

In spite the obvious instant messaging benefits there are some sensitive questions every one has from time to time. How to avoid being misinterpreted and misread? What is the appropriate time to contact a person? Should I take an answer’s absence as a sign of ignorance?

No matter how convenient messengers could seem, they don’t substitute the face to face talk. While texting and receiving answers you are limited to seeing the words alone. You don’t hear the tone of the speaker, can not see his mimics nor mind the body language. Unless being a writer is the occupation of your life, it is rather easy to fall into the “Lost in translation” trap.

To avoid the IM communication pitfalls follow these simple IM Etiquette tips:

Keep it kind and polite

• Greet the person you want to talk to first and make sure he is are available for chat (see example #1). There might be situations when ‘John’ is busy or away from his computer. Don’t get offended by no reply from the person, resist sending following messages asking why John is not replying or expressing your disappointment.

• Apply the same rule when talking to your friends. Even if the conversation is in full swing, your buddy can get some urgent things to do and disappear for a while. Don’t take it personally (see example#2).

• Meanwhile, if you are the one with the urgent matter, try to notify the person on the other side that you won’t be able to continue the conversation or will be back in N minutes.
• Another important detail to remember – give people time to respond. Multiple questions and replicas might look interrogating. State a single question and wait for a reply.
• Forget about the CAPS LOCK. Using uppercase is considered to be very rude practice and equals to shouting. If you pushed the caps lock button by mistake, make sure to apologise for the confusion. If you type slowly, stick with all lowercase.
• Avoid using sharp words and arguing on the messenger. If the conversation starts getting harsh, offer to continue the talk later, preferably over the phone or while having a face to face meeting. One impulsive remark can lead to long-lasting disappointment and hostility (see example # 3).

• Go easy on the jokes. Sarcasm and instant messaging don’t go along well. You can unintentionally offend the person. Unless you are 100% sure you know the person well and you both consider this to be funny.
• Remember – most of IMs have history option. Everything you said can be used against you:) So think twice before you hit the enter button.
• Always discuss confidential matters face-to-face.
• End an IM conversation in a polite way. If you were discussing business matter, it might be useful to summarize the discussion and highlight the next to-do actions. Check if the other person has any additional questions; if not, remember to thank him for the time spending on the dialogue (see example #4).

Keep it simple, brief and complete

Efficiency is the key. IMs work perfectly when you want to send a latest status update or when you have an urgent question to discuss.

• Keep your request within two sentences and save longer discussions for a meeting or phone call. Before sending an IM, polish the thought in your mind first, only then send the full sentence to the recipient. Don’t divide sentences in the middle, such practice is awfully distracting and irritating.
• Don’t overuse emotions icons. While an occasional ‘smile’ can help ‘to clear the air’ or set the conversation tone, dancing guy, sun icon and bear hug usually look very childish. Use the classic smile for business conversation and leave other ‘festive smilies’ for your friends.
• Custom fonts, colors and text sizes are no go. Spare your creativity and be merciful towards the recipient. Use the default options. (see example #5)
• Don’t use abbreviations until you know the person well. They might be not familiar with the lingo. So instead of saving time you add confusion to the dialogue.

Consider the Availability Statuses

• If a person set ‘Busy’ status it probably means he is not able to talk. Don’t try to contact them unless it is an emergency. Better send an email.
• Away status most probably means the person is not at the computer (or want you to think this way). In such case you can send him a quick note saying that you would like to talk when he has a chance.
• Use statuses while at work. If you went to lunch, remember to change your status on away. Some messengers don’t change the status automatically. After coming back, don’t forget to change the status back to online or busy, depending on the situation.
• If you keep the personal messenger opened while at work, better set it to ‘Busy’ status. This way your friends won’t bother you with links to ‘yet another funny cat’.

Texting VS Calling

Skype, Gtalk, Yahoo and other messengers offer call feature. In spite the tempting possibility to skip texting and just push the call button, resist the impulse. First, make sure the person is ready to speak with you. Drop him a line asking if he minds using the phone option.

In conclusion, the most useful Instant Messaging tip out there is to always use common sense. The quote by Antony Robbins should help you to get through the IM jungles:

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.